HAIR

Early this morning I saw a woman, maybe the same age as my Mom wearing a similar dress as she often wore.
The feeling of longing is again felt...

I remember my mother, She own the most beautiful hair, black and silky.
This is also the same hair that my sister inherited...
Shes always comb during the night while watching T.V.

People remember her with that beautiful hair.

But things that has beauty fades.
And during her lifetime, she experienced it literally...

As months passes her therapy stole her crowning glory...
She can feel every pieces of its strand fall on just a slightest pat.

Day by day shes being awaken by the whorl of fallen hair on her pillow.

She wore a bandanna to hid this sights not just on others but on her.

I can feel the agony, although she never show it to anybody I can feel it,
I am her son.

I often try to make a joke out of it,
Sometimes shes laugh but most shes insulted, just to mention about her hair.

I tried to ease the burden but shes strong enough to hid it for her own.
I tried and I know she feels it..

The first blog for NANAY.

FOR NANAY

The best thing that this world could produce is a TIME MACHINE!
I wish A machine that would enable me to cheat time will be created!
Maybe God will really forbid this!
Or it could not be possible?
Or not in my lifetime?!

Why did I dream for this?
Of all the things that I could do with this Like Winning a Lotto with the Highest bet...

Is to see and Be with my Mother again...
This is more than winning a Lotto.

I miss her so much.
I want to say my sorry.
I wan to hug her and kiss her.
I want to wipe away her tears...

I want to be on her side.

I want to hear her stories and plans..
Those were some of the best things that I really miss so much..

I call her NANAY,
A very intelligent woman,
Honest and so loyal to her work
The best entrepreneur...
The best MOTHER of all.

I remember this very day.
I call her
I am on my review class..
I ask her if shes doing fine and that I wanted to see her?
She told me shes fine...
She told me to focus on my subjects...

*I CREATED THIS BLOG FOR ME TO VOICE THE THING THAT I NEVER TOLD TO ANYBODY ABOUT HOW MY FEELINGS ARE...I HIDE ALL OF THIS. EVEN HIDING THIS FOR MYSELF FOR YEARS...THE FEELING I SUPPRESS. PEOPLE KNOWS ME AS THE SRONGEST. AND YES I AM, BECAUSE NO ONE WILL MAKE ME SURPASS ALL THIS THING BUT ME. I SHOULD BE STRONG FOR MY SIBLINGS AND FATHER, I SHOULD BE STRONG FOR MY MOTHER. I NEVER COMPLAIN, I NEVER BLAME BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT OR CHOICE! I ONLY CRY ONCE IN FRONT OF OTHERS AND HIDE ALL MY MOURNING'S FOR MYSELF. EMOTIONS THAT I ONLY VOICE ON TO NONE. EVEN FORBIDDING ME TO THINK OF THESE THOUGHTS...