Talking on a friend day ago, He told Me that at least I am Lucky... That we made ourselves prepare for our mother's final outcome...That at least we were not shocked as that event arrives..
Maybe he's Right?
Or maybe we were just stronger to accept.
Although we were very Hopeful of Mothers healing and the best results of Her therapy.. Deep inside everyone of us is a fear...
However we hide away from it or convince ourselves of its absence, we were still reminded each Day.
But we never show this to my mother.
Also show this feelings of fear to us.
Each day is an ordinary day for Her.
Maybe my friend was just affected by the scenes from movies or t.v. about cancer patient and their families...
Sensationalized by media...
Because that's not how we feel, we never prepared ourselves!
we act normally for years after Her first Chemo.
But all those years are the yeas of fear and worry...
You try to forget the would be outcome... you try to prevent it..
And every time you remember you are suddenly in pain.
But you get to enjoy everyday of your life with her.
knowing that maybe tomorrow is the end of it...
For years...Her last 5 years had been enjoyment and mourning for all of Us.
Just to make her smile and laugh is a treasured event for me.